Day 1921

So why start today? Day 1921?

Maybe it's because this morning as I was making lunch for my 11 year old daughter, Tess, I understood how certain people could become homeless. You just get worn down to a point where you don't feel like you have anything left, you're frickin tired, and feel like you can't catch a break.

The man who was my husband, Tony Adams, felt like that the last number of years of his life, tired, weary, beat up. He had a stroke, a semi-famous stroke as it turns out, as he died in the apartment of Edge, you know the guy from U2, moments before Edge was to sign his contract for Spiderman the Musical-bet Edge wishes he could take that whole day back. Tony was the producer of Spiderman at the time. I think Tony just imploded; here he was sitting in Edge's apartment, and even though Tony had enjoyed a celebrity filled life in Hollywood, this guy, along with his fellow band members, was simply heroic to Tony, much of it having to do with their shared Irishness.  The word stress didn't begin to describe the state of Tony at the time, it was so much more complicated, complex, and ultimately heartbreaking.

Tony had worked hard in Hollywood producing many films as the partner of Blake Edwards. He came to NY to bring Victor/Victoria to the stage as a Broadway musical. When my agent phoned me about an audition to stand by for Julie Andrews, I was intrigued. I ended up getting the job, hence met Tony, and was tossed into a whirlwind of a life with him that I would live for the next 11 years-until he died. On that day, Oct 22, 2005, cliched as it sounds, time literally stood still, and the whirlwind stopped.

This blog will serve as a place where I intend to both document and unravel this story so I can truly move on with my life. Due to all the media attention surrounding Spiderman-the Musical, Tony's spirit is still quite prominent, and that is both pleasant and annoying. Ultimately, as much as I think I have moved forward,  the death of a spouse in which you are left holding all the cards for your family...aint no day at the fair!